Hopelessly Devoted
by LastMartian
Summary: Ivy writes a letter to Rachel. A/N: This is a pretty depressing read, so be forewarned.


_Guess mine is not the first heart broken_

_My eyes are not the first to cry_

Rachel. My beautiful, wonderful, courageous, compassionate best friend. I knew from the start that you were the sexiest creature I had ever seen, but I would have never known how deeply my feelings would develop for you. I would have never guessed that you would become the most important person in my life, the person who I would look to for courage, compassion, friendship, and love. At least, love on my part.

You denied any love for me in a romantic sense, but I knew it was a façade. I saw into you when our auras merged that one day in the kitchen. Nothing was held back, so I experienced your complete love for and total acceptance of me. Yet you continued to repudiate those feelings. I tried my hardest to be patient, hoping that one day you would finally break those walls to allow your true feelings out.

_I'm not the first to know there's_

_Just no getting over you_

Unfortunately, those walls never fell. I continued to follow you like an attention starved dog, hoping that their master would deign them with a few good words here and there. My soul had become ragged, as if eaten by a banshee, leaving me feeling hollow. I had to do something, before any action I might take would hurt you, either physically or emotionally.

Those words I spoke to you in San Francisco broke my heart. I knew I needed to speak them, so that I could possibly move on from the heart-wrenching feelings I always felt when near you, to finally have that hope that someone might love me as much as I loved you.

_You know I'm just a fool who's willing_

_To sit around and wait for you_

_But baby can't you see there's nothing else for me to do_

_I'm hopelessly devoted to you_

I dated Glenn and then Nina, two people who I cared for deeply. I enjoyed the times I spent with them thoroughly, but it was never love though. How can you experience the greatest love that anyone can know, the love that sees beyond any faults, just seeing the best that person is, and move on from it? Is there a way to deny the fact that you found your soulmate, that one person who completes you like no other? I found no way, no solution to this love that breaks my heart every time I see you.

_But now there's no way to hide_

_Since you pushed my love aside_

_I'm out of my head hopelessly devoted to you_

_Hopelessly devoted to you_

_Hopelessly devoted to you_

You're angry with me now, as I constantly make excuses to not see you. Just hearing your voice, even with anger in it, is enough to bring those feelings to the surface. Nina has become more and more irate with me, as the lies that I had gotten over you, Rachel, have become more and more apparent. She has threatened to move out multiple times; I have managed to sway her to stay, but in my heart, it wouldn't bother me if she left. Pretending to care has become burdensome; one day I wouldn't have made an effort, which would have left me alone. I've always been alone, though.

_My head is saying "Fool forget her."_

_My heart is saying "Don't let go._

_Hold on to the end.", that's what I intend to do_

_I'm hopelessly devoted to you_

Dear heart, you will never understand why I made this choice, a choice that will hurt and anger you. I hope that my love for you has made you stronger, and that you can share that love with others. I will never understand why you never chose to share your love for me with me, a love that was apparent to everyone who knew you. Perhaps you never found me worthy of that love, or you were afraid to share that love with me.

You have found love and happiness with a known murderer, a person who doesn't hesitate to hurt others for his own good. Yes, he you found worthy, while I waited in the shadows, hoping and praying that one day you would shine your love onto me. That hope I have held onto these long years that became doused when I heard the news. You were to be married.

_But now there's no way to hide_

_Since you pushed my love aside_

_I'm out of my head hopelessly devoted to you_

_Hopelessly devoted to you_

_Hopelessly devoted to you_

I no longer wish to feel this pain that consumes me. Rachel, my dear heart, I will always love you. I know that, with this action, the pain of that love will go away. I will no longer remember why I love you, but that will be for the best. If I don't remember why, it will no longer torment my days and nights without your presence in my life.

I hope our souls will meet again one day; maybe then we will get the happy ending that was denied us here.

All my love, Ivy

_The Cincinnati Enquirer:_

_Last night, famous vampire Ivy Tamwood was found dead in her home, in an apparent suicide. Tamwood was the last living member of her line, one that spanned over 300 years. She is survived by her parents Robert Randall and Annabelle Tamwood, and a younger sister, Erica. Services are being set by her family for a private ceremony._

**A/N: First off, I am in no way condoning suicide nor trying to show it as a viable solution. No matter how bad you feel your situation is, you are not alone. Please reach out to friends, family members, a member of the psychiatric/psychologist field, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). I've been a victim of some of the worst that humanity has to offer; I was helped in my time of need. You can be as well.**

**I heard this song and immediately though of Ivy. The song is, of course, "Hopelessly Devoted to You", as sung by Olivia Newton-John, found on the Grease soundtrack. Ivy has spent so much of her recent time devoted to Rachel, that it could seem hopeless that anything would come of it. It's fun to write fan fiction with them paired up, but both people have their own right on how to live their life (in a literary sense). It was Rachel's decision all along on how she would live her life. Unfortunately, Ivy was not the beneficiary of Rachel's choices.**

**I couldn't find anything online to state the names of Ivy's parent, which I couldn't remember. If someone knows them, feel free to shoot them to me. As always, reviews are welcome, even with constructive criticism.**

**I am also working on a larger story; hopefully in the next week or two I will get something else posted. I had to have my health come first for a while, but I feel at a better place to resume writing.**


End file.
